Things learned, things unresolved

Thinking back on this past year, a lot has changed since I stood in this same position at the beginning of 2010. So many things I have learned. For instance, just because your friends change, doesn't mean your friendship is crashing down. God uses everything and everyone to show us how great He is. If you ask God for something (e.i. patience) He will give you the opportunity to be patient rather than just giving you this abundance of patience. Make sense? Watch Evan Almighty and you'll get it. ;) Some more things I've learned: seek God with your everything and He will make everything right, you don't need powerful worship to be on fire for God (though it does help), you are stronger than you think you are. God will never put you into something you cannot bear. And more recently I've learned that He has the power to make sense of the things that confuse you most and He will guide you when you feel lost. I guess I should fill you in on all that junk: 

I forgot what I called him before. Well, the same guy that I talked about liking before, I really, really, really like him now. I'm going to call him Dude. So lately we've been texting a lot and now I like him more than ever. His personality is totally unique and he is like a storehouse of random information. He is such a dork and a nerd but that makes him, him. And sometimes I feel like I say the stupidest stuff but he never makes me feel stupid. He always makes me feel funny (when I'm not!) and maybe this is just me hallucinating because I like him so much. I don't know if he likes me or not but he certainly captured me. I don't mean to brag but when he first starting going to my ex-school, everyone thought he was weird and told me about how strange he was. So I decided to investigate myself and ever since our first, short conversation of Facebook, he intrigued me. Eventually everyone grew to love him but I never lost that weird interest in him. Not as in a crush (not at that time), but I was curious about his personality. One day I realized I liked him, later I thought I'd gotten over him but when I saw him again, it all came rushing back. Now, I like him so much, it makes me question what true love feels like. Sometimes I doubt myself and my feminist side tells me I'm pathetic and shouldn't have to be at the mercy of a guy. But at the same time, I can't deny that I kinda am. It's a constant battle inside me. But somehow I still know God's in control of it all and I KNOW He has the perfect guy for me to date. But what I need to know is... is Dude the one? Cause if not, I'm risking a ton of heartache and emotional pain. It's a risky situation to be in. *sigh* This is mainly why I'm trying to wait for a sound answer from God before moving too far into this friendship. 

And then there's a whole other factor. He lives forever away. So even if (now this is a huge fantasy, just so you know) he likes me and asked me to go out with him, I'd never be able to see him or go on many dates. Maybe when we can drive we'd see each other more but that's like 2 years away. So that's the whole realistic side of it all. And then I have all kinds of voices telling me different things. I have one good friend telling me to go for it, to dream and trust my heart. To take a leap of faith for my love. Then I have another good friend who has been through something similar and ended up being hurt terribly. I know it seems like I should listen to the experienced friend but part of me just doesn't want to. Ugh I wish it wasn't such a big ordeal. 

God,

Please help me. Please give me clear guidance so that I know what You want me to do and so that I can only do what You want me to. I only want to do Your will. You would not have put this person in my life if you didn't want me to do something. So tell me. I can't make these decisions on my own. You are all-knowing so You tell me. 

Your daughter,

SD

Good start

I'd say this new years resolution is off to a good start. Though I've only been at it for two days, I can tell it's going to be awesome. I find things to be thankful for even in the first 8 chapters of Genesis. You know that weird feeling you get when you know God's in control of something? Like something bigger and greater and you don't know what yet? Yeah, I'm getting that a lot. It's that weird feeling you get when your heart feels all swollen and like there's something moving in the middle. It's so bizarre. 

But there is something that's been on my heart that I just have to share with yall. My friend at my old school go to this thing called House Church where it's like student-led church at someone's house on Saturday nights. Apparently it's really cool and awesome worship and stuff. Well I want to do that (well... kinda, I'll explain in a second) but over here where I live. I want to do a House Church but maybe where it's just worship for an hour but it's free and open worship and on Wednesday nights during the summer. That way we could have it outside sometimes (Maria). :) 

Because I need some good worship. The chapel at my new school sucks and at my church, we don't really raise our hands a whole lot. I always got my good worship at my old school on Fridays in worship chapel. Man, that was amazing. I need to bring that to those at my church who have never experienced God like that before. Such encounters with the Spirit. At times I could have sworn I felt His arms around me, heard His voice in my ear, saw His face. God's voice is the sweetest voice in the universe. The same mouth that breathed out the stars, has whispered in my ear. Magic. I need that again. Everyone needs pure, awestruck worship. 

So that is what it driving me to start this. We need this. Worship is a necessity. Pray for me and my friend Payton as we do this. It will happen, and God will bless it. 

With real love for Him.

Yours truly,

SD

Avett Brothers

Last night my brother and some friends left for Ashville, North Carolina for an Avett Brothers concert tonight. Words cannot convey my jealousy. The Avett Brothers (pronounced ay-vett) are my favorite band at the moment. If you haven't heard of them, I feel sorry for you. Allow me to enlighten you:

Aren't they amazing? Three guys, two of them brothers (Seth and Scott), all string instruments (a banjo, a guitar and a cello)  with a foot drum that they take turns using occasionally. It's awesome. I love them. So now you can understand how one would be jealous when their brother look off for an Avett Brothers concert in Ashville of all places. It's ridiculous. So there, that's my post. And let me leave you with one last statement: I and love and you.

With love for Him.

Yours truly,

SD

My viewpoint on Christmas

Christmas is not a holiday of "stuff". It is not about the gifts, it is not about the food. Christmas is not focused on the decorations or the size of the tree. It is not about what you wear or which Christmas Eve service you go to. 

Christmas is about two things: giving and thanking.

GIVING: We give to others because Christ gave His all for us. As Christians our goal is to be like Christ. Christ gave so we give. Don't focus on what you're getting but on what you're giving. Be excited that others get to enjoy the presents you gave them. Christmas has turned into a season of splurging for ourselves. We say, "Oh, it's Christmas, it's the 'big' present of the year, so I better ask for something really big." We forget what we are giving and put all our focus on what we're getting. Christ gave Himself and in return, we need to give Him our lives.

THANKING: We need to thank God for humbling Himself to be born on this earth. He was the Most High King; lavished in riches and glory in heaven. He gave it all up to be born here and be a nobody; a mere carpenter's son. Then eventually, those he loved most betrayed Him. They chose a thief over their King and begged for Him to be crucified. But that's another story. The point is, Christ gave up all of his glory to save us and we need to thank Him. He is our humble King. 

I want you to try something. Tomorrow morning, before you wake everyone up and tear into your presents, take a moment or two to thank God and give Him the honor He deserves. Acknowledge who He is and realize how blessed you are to have so many wonderful things waiting for you, wrapped in colorful paper. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU

With love for the Most High King.

Yours truly,

SD

A new year?

So I've been thinking lately about New Year's. I've almost gone a year without drinking soda (on purpose, that is. There were two incidents where I was unaware that there was soda in a drink before it was too late, but that doesn't count) and so now that I've realized you actually can follow through on a New Year's Resolution, I'm wondering what my next one will be. Then, while in church today, the idea hit me, and here it is:


I believe my New Year's Resolution for 2011 will be to journal every day of my life for a year. But not just any journal, a prayer-like journal; a journal that records all of my spiritual happenings. This would include prayers to God, messages from God, all of my highs, lows, and fears; my complaints, my rejoices, my anger, my thankfulness, my doubt, and everything in between that I know will come. I'm thinking most of my entries will be prayers to God, just out of habit. I think it will really help me get consistent with my quiet times. I mean, who wants to write down "Never actually did my quiet time today, so nothing really happened. Thanks God, bye." every other day? I mean, that's how I feel. Also, I have never (and I mean NEVER) finished a journal. EVER. So this will be like killing two birds with one stone. :)

But how cool would it be to kill THREE birds with one stone? Talk about skill. What if I also read the whole Bible in a year? Two of my friends are reading through the Bible, they could encourage me. I know it sounds like a heavy load but imagine what I could learn from it! I could have myself so disciplined by 2012! Besides, if you think of it all like a story, it makes it a whole lot more interesting. :) I'll think and pray about it. But give me your opinion!


So.... what will be YOUR New Year's Resolution? Will you follow through?


With love for Him.


Yours truly,
SD

p.s. I thought I'd try black font this time. What do you think? White or black? Or another color?

Photos that inpsire me

No, I did not take these. Sadly, all of my photos are on an SD card and we've lost our little thingie that transfers the pictures from an SD to your computer. And also, I've shot about everything in, around, and through my house so it's getting old. I need somewhere else to go. Anyway, these are just photos I found online so enjoy!

And no, none of these are photoshopped or anything like that. I checked. (except maybe that tree one up there, I couldn't figure out if he was or not). I think they're beautiful. I am easily inspired by nature (though not as intensely as did a few months ago) so these are lovely. :) I have recently gotten a new notebook and I plan to bring it with me everywhere in case I happened to be blessed enough to see something like one of these pictures (^) and get inspired to write something. I hope you enjoyed them!


"Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us." - 1 Peter 2:11-12

With love for Him.

Yours truly,

SD

Constant Reminders

It's the hardest thing to really, really like someone and still try to follow God (not as in staying a Christian, but as in giving Him your 100% devotion). Maybe it's just because I'm a girl and we tend to be over-dramatic about boys. Maybe it's because I'm not as close to God at the moment as I could be. Either way, it's hard to overcome it.  "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4. I know that, but it's harder than it sounds. It's difficult to put your dating future in the hands of God when you have your heart set on this one person. I mean if God called me to another country right now I'd say, "Heck yeah!" And would not worry about not being able to talk to this person. And it's not even that I'm afraid I won't be able to date him, because I doubt he even likes me. I just enjoy fantasizing about it. I guess the true difficulty is the fact that he distracts me from God. God seems less important because He doesn't make me feel the same way that my crush does. But that is so NOT true! It's awful because I talk to my crush and get sad because I can't see him (he lives far away and doesn't go to my school) and then I go and see the Bible verse I posted a few minutes ago and feel sad because I failed to consider God in all this. Guys and God are the two hardest things to mix. I think it's very important for Christ to be all over every aspect of my life but when it comes to boys... man, it always gets me. 

And then, on top of all of this conflict, Satan tries to make it worse by making me feel bad that I like the boy. He makes me think that God is disappointed in me because I haven't mastered the art of bringing Him into every aspect of my life. But the truth is, God knows I'm imperfect. I can't be perfect. He forgives me before it even happens. God won't be disappointed because you sin. He just wants you to get up and keep trying. Don't listen to anyone except His voice because God isn't a God of standards and strictness. He's the God of compassion, comfort, patience and guidance. He is wisdom, power, courage and love. 

Sorry for all this deep stuff again. This truly is the best place for me to express my problems. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and pray that you won't have as hard of a time as I'm having!

With love for Him.

Yours truly,

SD