My public diary to get me through four years of high school...

Friday, August 5, 2011

Well crap

It's happened again. I'm going to have to choose to put Him first. I don't know if this is right or wrong but I can't help it. No! *hard slap on the arm* I've been doing that a lot in the past 24 hours. I'm disciplining myself. Can't get carried away. God is my focus, my only desire. Everything else will pass away. God is always constant, always consistent, always right. 


I know this is making no sense but... well it does to me. I don't want to sound like a stupid, immature teenager so I'm not going to directly tell you what is going on. But I'm sure you can guess. I feel so stupid. 

God, 
Is this right? Is this what you want? I don't need to be distracted, you have great things planned for me, you told me! I don't want this to get in the way! I don't want anything to get in the way. If this isn't what you want, tell me so now and I will immediately restrain myself. It's just that... this one is actually a possibility. It's so close I can almost taste it. This time it could really happen. But not if it would keep me from doing your will. You always rescue me, my Jesus. You are my best friend. Tell me where to go, Lord. Tell me how to handle this. I need you. And I love you. 


Your daughter,
Sarah

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