My public diary to get me through four years of high school...

Friday, August 5, 2011

Freaking out for probably no reason

Oh my gosh. I must have a commitment phobia or something. So this guy I sorta like, he just offered to sing me to sleep. And yes, that's cute and romantic or whatever but I'm freaking out! It scares me! I feel like I'm losing control! So this is why I never want to date anyone... Who ever said this was supposed to be fun? Not that we're dating! No! We're not! I would flip out! I would cry! What's wrong with me? Maybe I'm just tired. I did stay up until 3 last night. That must be it. Maybe I'm PMSing. Something is wrong with me. Why am I like this? 


Jesus Christ,
Is this normal? Oh my Lord be with me! I feel so out of control. I feel like this isn't right. Am I betraying you, oh Lord? I'm so stupid, I know nothing about this kind of stuff. This truly is why I will never date in high school. It's so... weird. We're all stupid and don't know anything. The last thing I ever want to do is blinding go down a road that will lead me away from you. I need you, God! I cannot survive without you showing me where to go each day. I can't make decisions on my own, Lord. Tell me what to do and I will obey. Give me peace, God. I love you with my whole heart.


Amen.

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