Who said that it's better to have loved and lost? I wish that I had never loved at all

I don't feel much like writing so I might just put up more pictures. But I do want you to understand where I'm at right now. Now that I'm 100% cool with Dude and it's all old news now, I'm starting to want someone to love me. Every girl gets this way. We become unsatisfied with God alone therefore we dream and desire for a guy to love us, think we're beautiful even when we're ugly, and appreciate every little thing about us. It sounds selfish but it's a natural human desire. We watch romances and (if you're me) read Romeo and Juliet. Oh it's such a good story. Young love is inspiring and I don't doubt that one can love as a teenager. It is just an immature and frivolous sort of love. But truly, you cannot deny that it is terribly romantic that despite their familes' dispute, they fell in love, got married, and died for each other. Anyway, when us girls get in these moods, we tend to do things that just worsen our longing.

But what we need to realize is that God is the answer to ALL of our longing. Even our longing for a boyfriend. God loves us (more than we can imagine!), thinks we're beautiful, and appreciates every little thing about us. I think we sometimes lose sight of that. We are His daughters and He made us exactly how he wanted us to be. He thinks we are beautiful and lovely. And He loves all of our little quirks and odd behaviors. Why can't we see that He is the ultimate Lover? No one can satisfy like He can. And if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart, even a boyfriend. But first, we have to be content with God alone. He wants our love and an intimate relationship before He gives us a boy to be distracted by. He doesn't want us to veer off onto another path because of a boy. He wants to make sure that we are first rooted in Him. 

I feel right now that I am terribly vulnerable. I idolized a boy, lost him (in a sense), and now am trying to fill the hole left over. I know the answer is God. God is always the answer. But if I know that, why am I not moving? I feel like I am standing still. I know where I need to go but my feet won't take me there. I really am wanting some good, open worship right about now. That's how I communicate best with God. 

God, hear me. I know Your truth, I know You have a mission for me. I am ready to go, I've always been ready to go. But Lord, now I am vulnerable to any attack Satan might plot involving guys and relationships. I need you to protect my heart. Lock my heart away in Yours. I dream of the day that I can just walk with You. I love you. Amen.

I love this song. It's called Love is Here by Tenth Avenue North. I especially love the line "Come to the Lover, you who want, and you'll want no more." <3 Listen:

 

With love for Him.

Yours truly,

SD