Valentine's Day sucks

I am isolating myself tomorrow. No Facebook, no phone. I feel terrible. Tomorrow is going to suck so bad. Let me explain:

There's this dude that goes to Heritage that is really nice but I really, really do not like him at all and it is very obvious that he likes me. We normally don't text that much but this weekend we texted more the normal and I was with my friend (which I feel AWFUL about now because she's grounded from her phone so I was probably being so rude!). So we somehow got on the topic of how its hard for guys to ask girls to like, go out with them or something and I (stupid and ignorant) said that you just have to do it and get it over with. So I was trying to encourage him to be outgoing and then I realized he was talking about me! He sent me a text saying "Tomorrow will either be a lot better or a lot worse than you are expecting" and I flipped cause he's probably going to ask me to be his valentine or something. I'm hoping his inner coward will keep him from saying anything to me tomorrow. Then my friend (that I spent the weekend with) made me feel terrible because she says I led him on and now he's just going to get his heart broken. So I feel absolutely lousy and cruel. I was just not paying attention and being stupid and I feel so bad! This is going to be so awkward and I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow. 

Ughhh! I wish all guys would disappear off the face of the planet and I could just spend my time getting closer with God. That's all I want to do. I hate being stupid. I'm never going to talk to a guy again. I hate this. I feel like a terrible person. I just want this all to pass so I can forget about it. 

Valentine's Day sucks. And I'm not normally one to hate holidays because I feel sorry for myself. But this year, Valentine's Day just isn't making a good impression on me. Tomorrow I am going to lock myself in my room with my chocolates and do homework like a good, dorky little student. If I have time afterwards, I might watch Pride and Prejudice, cry over how cruel I am (most likely not, though), and sit in the bath tub with a good book until my toes turn pruney and the water is lukewarm.

I will be glad when this stupid holiday passes. I feel like crap.

 

With love for Him.

Yours truly,

SD