So many of them! I had a Spanish quiz and Geography test yesterday. I have a Physical Science test and Geography quiz and a Geography retake quiz tomorrow. Next Tuesday I have a math test, next Thursday I have an English cumulative vocabulary quiz. Seriously, this is crazy. I don't consider this learning. I consider this drilling my brain until it wants to quit on me. Of course like every other teacher of mine is saying, "It's just like this in college except worse." And that isn't really encouraging.
I am so messed up right now. I've eaten all kind of crap lately and haven't set foot in a gym in months. I'm getting pimples because I'm stressing more than I usually do. Normally, I never stress. Like at all. But this new school has brought more worries than I've had to deal with before. Oh, and I haven't found the time or will to pick up a Bible and do a quiet time for forever up to yesterday. I gotta remember to do that again today.
I don't know, everything in my life right now seems... difficult. Like you can't just do it, you have to work to do it. Like I have to work to find time to go to the gym, I have to work to find time to write on here, I have to work to get homework done so I can hopefully have a few hours in the evening to relax so I won't go insane. All these tests, all these things they're trying to stuff in my brain.
Granted, some things are interesting and fun. Like Spanish. We're doing a fiesta for Columbus Day. It'll be great. But will I survive until then? Sometimes I just want to rewind. Back to when I was at my old school with all my old friends and I was able to completely be me. I didn't need to worry, I got to have an amazing worship chapel every Friday after lunch. I wish I could go back and appreciate it more. Because that was like, the best time of my life. Now, it's a little harder. But like they say, a smooth mountain is hard to climb.
And I mean it's not like I'm depressed, just a tad bit more... down than usual. Part of me thinks it's the devil trying to make me miserable, and part of me thinks it's just the outcome of all the events that have happened. I mean, who expects everything to be perfect, awesome, and even better than before when you move to a new school and have to start over?
Even my mom says she missed my old school. Which makes me hopeful that maybe if she gets to where she doesn't like my school that much at all, I can go back to Heritage. But she just isn't willing to drive me like, a little over an hour away to go to school. Hey, I'm willing to get up at 5:30 in the morning.
*sigh* I dunno... it's all just weird. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm blowing everything way out of proportion. Who knows? I'll just have to keep trusting God and working my butt off to not fail any of these tests. Haha wish me luck!
Yours truly,
SD
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