Storms are beautiful. Though sometimes they scare the living daylights out of me, I can't help but find the beauty in it all. Thunderstorms are powerful, majestic things. I mean think about it; winds making the trees dance and wave, thunder that claps and rips the sky, lighting that tears through the air and kisses the earth. Such power that is uncontrollable is almost... humbling. Humans seem to be obsessed with gaining power. But back to the thunderstorm: I find it amazing when I watch the rain fill the atmosphere to where you can't see anything past fifty feet from you. It's like I'm standing before this massive power, this thing that is so much greater than me, yet I'm not scared. I do not have to show it respect or reverence because it isn't living. It isn't living yet it seems so alive.
... Yeah I know I'm getting all poetic and weird. Like those modern art people who look at a beat up piece of metal and are brought to tears at it's beauty. But I do think that storms are majestic. Plus it can make for some beautiful pictures. Probably the best time to take a picture is right after a storm right before dusk. :)
Water you turned into wine, opened the eyes of the blind. There's no one like you, none like You.
Into the darkness you shine, out of the ashes we rise. There's no one like you, none like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, awesome in power, our God, our God.
Into the darkness You shine, out of the ashes we rise.There's no one like you none like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, awesome in power, our God, our God.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, awesome in power, our God, our God.
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
What could stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, awesome in power, our God, our God
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, awesome in power, our God, our God
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
Then what could stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, our God, our God
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God
I have about 500 different things I want to write about today. So we'll see how this goes.
Let's start with the song I'm listening to now: Only Hope by Switchfoot. I love Switchfoot. All of their songs are great. But this one - Only Hope - is so awesome. Here are some of the lyrics that really speak to me. Firstly, "When it feels like my dreams are so far, sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again." I have tons of these great, big dreams that I can't commence at this point of my life. So my dreams feel so far but I know He has bigger plans for me; bigger than I can imagine. And that is pretty exciting. Another lyric, "I give You my apathy, I'm giving You all of me." Apathy - an absence or suppression of passion, emotion or excitement; lack of interest or concern for things that other find moving or exciting. Ha, that's me alright. I mean, come on, this is GOD we're talking about. GOD. That's pretty exciting, not to mention moving. Satan has this funny way of making Him seem less important or "too deep" for me. It's something I struggle with every day. Apathy with God. I forget to do my quiet time because of lack of interest. I get comfortable with where I am in life because of an absence of passion. (Oh wow, just so you know, as I'm writing this, God's really gettin' a hold of me) So Lord, here is my apathy. Take it. All I am is Yours.
Now on to my next thought. I now know that God wants me to serve. And I know we all serve God's kingdom in one way or another, but God is telling me, no, screaming at me, that my life will be an adventure. I am meant to go places. I am meant to share God. I was born to go. I am here to spread the Hope. This is my purpose. Life has no other worth other than to share God.
And I mean, how could you not share God??? I mean, this is GOD. I think we forget that sometimes. GOD IS GOD. He can do anything. He created everything. He lived, died, and loved while doing it all. Do you not see who He is??? Do you not realize who you talked to while you pray??? Do you not feel that the King of Kings is living in your heart??? He is all-powerful and ever-present. He is with us always. He is everywhere at once. He will never tire, He will never end. God is not limited by anything. God is incomprehensible. The same God that revealed Himself to Moses is seeking you out today. You read the Bible and hear these great stories of miracles. God can and does do those today! How can we talk of God so calmly? How can we avoid God in conversations with new acquaintances? How can we hide our faith from strangers? How???? Ah! God is here! God is ALIVE! God DIED and God ROSE AGAIN. That is CRAZY! I know I'm all worked up but seriously, examine yourself. When you see God's name, does your heart leap for joy? Or does it skip a beat? Or neither? How often do we jump up and down for a chance to talk to God? Have you ever texted your friend just to excitedly tell her/him that you just got finished praying? We have forgotten who we worship. We learn all of these other things and while trying to remember what He wants us to do, we lose sight of who we're doing it all for. I mean, we know we live a Christian life for God, but we forget who God really is. I don't know... this is just all so crazy.
I'm sorry I'm rambling. God is just revealing this all to me as I write it. That's why this blog is so important to me. The more I write the more I discover. But now that I know all these things, I need to do something. And I need to figure out how I'm doing to do it. But that's another post for another day. For now, I'll stop so I don't have a novel written by the time I'm done. I hope He spoke to you through this like He did for me. Have a great week. :)
With awestruck love for Him.
Yours truly,
SD
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise of the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." ~ Psalm 139:7-10
So I just got back from my church's high school ski trip. It was so much fun! I got to know more of the high schoolers and made some great memories. Actually I didn't ski, I tubed. Tubing was fun for like the first 5 times but next time I am definitely skiing. :)
That picture up there was actually in the house we were staying at. Oh yeah, about the house; there were mice. Yeah, mice. Thankfully they stayed mainly on the boys' floor (the bottom floor) and away from the girl's floor (third flood). So we never saw the mice and did not die from them getting in the food or anything. Also, the window in our room wouldn't close. We could crack it but it wouldn't stay shut. But it ended up being good because since we were on the third floor and heat rises... you get the picture. It was hot. So the window helped regulate the temperature.
Well... I mean, that's just about it. I could go into painfully into detail about what happened each day but that would bore you and I'm too tired anyway. So goodnight for now. Have a good week. :)
You cannot tell me that that is not awesome. I mean, wow. That just makes me so excited! :D I am totally doing 25. Will you join me? April 25th is a Monday. How loudly would your silence speak at school? Please, please join me! All you have to do is be quiet for 25 hours and give $25. That is nothing compared to what the children of Uganda, Sudan and Congo go through. Be silent for their silence. Join me. Join us.
I am sick and tired of myself. Human nature sucks. I am going to try my best to do everything in my capability to direct my life 100% on God.
Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. - Deuteronomy 6:13-15
I need to stop following these other gods around me! Boys, and power especially. So pray for me and encourage me! I've realized that my love language is encouragement. Just as much as I give encouragement, I need it too. So here it begins, a new chapter in my life. I need some R&R with the Lord. Some down time with my ultimate Lover. So here it goes. I'm all Yours.
I am so glad I turned off my phone last night. I checked it this morning and sure enough, I was asked on a date. Gosh! I totally messed up on this. I totally led him on. I was just picking on him. I really don't like him. I'm such a jerk! I am disgusted with myself. What kind of terrible person do you have to be to play hard-to-get jokingly and then encourage him to ask you and then say no. Ahhhh! I feel sooooo bad! I am such an idiot! I'm not going to lie, that's what I did. I absolutely hate myself for it. I didn't know it'd be like this. I had no idea what I was doing. How could I be so freakin' stupid??? I was rude to my friend by texted a lot in front of her, I was a total BUTT to this guy who finally got the nerve to ask me. I HATE myself! I'm an encourager, not hurter. I hate hurting people. This is so retarded. I can't believe I made this happen.
You know, every time I have been in a fight or flight situation, I've always chosen flight. I wish I could just so away. I wish it was summer so I could get out of this place. I want to run away until the problem is forgotten. I want to go places. I want to go and leave my past to blow away with the wind. But that's not realistic.
I know what I'm going to say. I'm going to tell him I'm flattered but that the distance isn't logical and I feel I don't need to get too involved with guys at this point in my life and that I value our friendship and that I hope I didn't give the wrong impression. Sound ok? I hate hurting people. It sucks. Cause I know what they're feeling. I'm too empathic for this. But I'm going to do it and get it over with and move on with life. It's gonna happen in life, I'm going to have to say no and hurt some guys. But it really does suck. Oh well... pray for me!!!
I am isolating myself tomorrow. No Facebook, no phone. I feel terrible. Tomorrow is going to suck so bad. Let me explain:
There's this dude that goes to Heritage that is really nice but I really, really do not like him at all and it is very obvious that he likes me. We normally don't text that much but this weekend we texted more the normal and I was with my friend (which I feel AWFUL about now because she's grounded from her phone so I was probably being so rude!). So we somehow got on the topic of how its hard for guys to ask girls to like, go out with them or something and I (stupid and ignorant) said that you just have to do it and get it over with. So I was trying to encourage him to be outgoing and then I realized he was talking about me! He sent me a text saying "Tomorrow will either be a lot better or a lot worse than you are expecting" and I flipped cause he's probably going to ask me to be his valentine or something. I'm hoping his inner coward will keep him from saying anything to me tomorrow. Then my friend (that I spent the weekend with) made me feel terrible because she says I led him on and now he's just going to get his heart broken. So I feel absolutely lousy and cruel. I was just not paying attention and being stupid and I feel so bad! This is going to be so awkward and I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow.
Ughhh! I wish all guys would disappear off the face of the planet and I could just spend my time getting closer with God. That's all I want to do. I hate being stupid. I'm never going to talk to a guy again. I hate this. I feel like a terrible person. I just want this all to pass so I can forget about it.
Valentine's Day sucks. And I'm not normally one to hate holidays because I feel sorry for myself. But this year, Valentine's Day just isn't making a good impression on me. Tomorrow I am going to lock myself in my room with my chocolates and do homework like a good, dorky little student. If I have time afterwards, I might watch Pride and Prejudice, cry over how cruel I am (most likely not, though), and sit in the bath tub with a good book until my toes turn pruney and the water is lukewarm.
I will be glad when this stupid holiday passes. I feel like crap.
I missed the groundhog this year, will winter be much longer? Speaking of missing things, I miss you. Would you please return as hastily as God allows? As you may or may not know, I have a very full and extremely fun summer awaiting me and I do not know much longer I can wait. Would you like to hear my plans?
First off, I have to get my wisdom teeth out. Most people see that as a bad thing, but I'm excited about it. Eh, just don't ask. Secondly, I am going to Puerto Rico! Oh, Summer, you don't know how excited I am! We will go shopping and go to a huge rainforest and work on people's homes and sleep in un-air conditioned bunkhouses and get all sweaty and share His word! Next, I'm going to Brunkswick, Georgia for another mission trip except this will be just as hot and more humid! We will also be doing construction there. Oh! I forgot! I am also doing my church's VBS in June. I think I'll work with the 2nd graders again. Then I'm going to start this thing called House Worship with my friends and it's where you have this awesome, open worship service at people's houses. Then I also plan on doing tons of hiking and sleeping. Swimming in pools, camping, sleeping under the stars, going to Six Flags and tubing on the lake is also penciled in the schedule.
So as you can see, you hold many enjoyable and exciting activities this year. So if it isn't a terribly opposition, would you please return to us as fast as possible. And I mean as fast as possible. I understand that the months of March, April and May usually belong to the "spring" season but perhaps you can sneak in and bring the warmth a little early. It'd surely be appreciated. I know I'd appreciate it a whole lot. I have a lot of cute clothes I'd like to wear with some warmer weather. So please, come quickly. VERY quickly.
Love,
Sarah
p.s. Did I forget to mention that we're going to the beach, also? Well, we are. So please, come with God-speed.
I don't feel much like writing so I might just put up more pictures. But I do want you to understand where I'm at right now. Now that I'm 100% cool with Dude and it's all old news now, I'm starting to want someone to love me. Every girl gets this way. We become unsatisfied with God alone therefore we dream and desire for a guy to love us, think we're beautiful even when we're ugly, and appreciate every little thing about us. It sounds selfish but it's a natural human desire. We watch romances and (if you're me) read Romeo and Juliet. Oh it's such a good story. Young love is inspiring and I don't doubt that one can love as a teenager. It is just an immature and frivolous sort of love. But truly, you cannot deny that it is terribly romantic that despite their familes' dispute, they fell in love, got married, and died for each other. Anyway, when us girls get in these moods, we tend to do things that just worsen our longing.
But what we need to realize is that God is the answer to ALL of our longing. Even our longing for a boyfriend. God loves us (more than we can imagine!), thinks we're beautiful, and appreciates every little thing about us. I think we sometimes lose sight of that. We are His daughters and He made us exactly how he wanted us to be. He thinks we are beautiful and lovely. And He loves all of our little quirks and odd behaviors. Why can't we see that He is the ultimate Lover? No one can satisfy like He can. And if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart, even a boyfriend. But first, we have to be content with God alone. He wants our love and an intimate relationship before He gives us a boy to be distracted by. He doesn't want us to veer off onto another path because of a boy. He wants to make sure that we are first rooted in Him.
I feel right now that I am terribly vulnerable. I idolized a boy, lost him (in a sense), and now am trying to fill the hole left over. I know the answer is God. God is always the answer. But if I know that, why am I not moving? I feel like I am standing still. I know where I need to go but my feet won't take me there. I really am wanting some good, open worship right about now. That's how I communicate best with God.
God, hear me. I know Your truth, I know You have a mission for me. I am ready to go, I've always been ready to go. But Lord, now I am vulnerable to any attack Satan might plot involving guys and relationships. I need you to protect my heart. Lock my heart away in Yours. I dream of the day that I can just walk with You. I love you. Amen.
I love this song. It's called Love is Here by Tenth Avenue North. I especially love the line "Come to the Lover, you who want, and you'll want no more." <3 Listen:
You know, I sat here and tried to come up with a most that was deep and meaningful to me. Maybe something about my thoughts and wonderings. But honestly, I'm much too tired. This is the stage of school where it just seems long and tiring and never ending.
Ugh. See? I literally just sat here zoned out for like 5 minutes after that sentence. I can't do this. Forgive me, I'll have to post again later when I might actually have a clue in my head.
And you know, the funny thing is, I don't know which one I'd be in the picture above. I'd probably be the one that's already asleep. I don't hardly have the energy to stand up or yawn. I think I'll just lie here until summer.
I love that song. Though I'm not a big fan of their style, their music is magnificent. :)
Ok. I'm done now. This post has taken almost an hour to write. Hahaha man, I need to just go to bed.
