My public diary to get me through four years of high school...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

It's been awhile...

I've been having thoughts lately. Lots of thoughts. I decided I needed to write them out somewhere and since I've never been able to keep a journal in my life, I thought, why not share it with you? So here we go.

Recently (as in, since just a few minutes ago) I realized a really miss this person from my old school. Let's call him... Dud. Yes, Dud. Just go with it. Anyway, Dud used to always make my day, everyday. Even if I only went to school three days a week, things he'd post as statuses on Facebook would make me laugh. Something about him is different. He's a dork. A huge dork. But he's a genuine dork. A genuine dork with a genuine heart. And ever since the very beginning, I could tell there was something different about him. Even when everyone was talking about how weird he was, I knew there was something there, though I kept that to myself. And now, I see him posting inside jokes and pictures from costume parties at the school, and it gets me down thinking that I'm not there to laugh at him anymore. I'm not there to watch him to stupid stuff and say the most random, and funny things you'd ever hear. And I guess that's just the way it is. I mean I'm not depressed and I'll move on very soon, but I'll also still miss Dud. I guess that'll be ok. 

Another thought is this nagging question that has been torturing me lately: Why can't I write? I've been trying to think of something to write about but I forget or am completely un-inspired. It worries me. Writing is my stress-reliever, my comfort zone. No matter what school I go to or who I hang out with, I can always write. But I'm losing my touch. I haven't written in... oh, weeks if not months. It's awful. But then there's school, and tons of ROC meetings and then I'm just plain tired and feel like doing nothing.

Thoughts to be continued later... 

(sorry for the suspense)

With love for Him.

Yours truly,
SD

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